In our busy lives, juggling between work, family life, social life, chores, unexpected events, and rest (often neglected), the 24 hours that make up a day often pass in the blink of an eye.
This first paragraph defining the daily life of everyone is often associated with an invisible evil that consumes us from within: stress. We, as human beings, are constantly subjected to pressures of various forms. If we are accustomed to working under some form of pressure, it often tends to accumulate and form an overflow that manifests itself through different negative emotions such as anxiety, distress, sadness, anger…
It is human to experience negative emotions, however, being subject to these mood swings can cause damage with serious consequences in the long term when they constantly lean towards the dark side of the force.
(Pardon my geeky side for the quote).
One of these damages, which I will emphasize in detail in a future article, will be the sadly famous: Burnout.
But, to get back to the heart of the matter, my primary goal in writing this article was first to give you different tips to manage and reduce your stress. Fair enough, you might say!
However, it was quite quickly that I realized the underlying aspect of this issue and how essential it was to tackle the problem at its root in order to manage stress in the long term. Let me explain.
Who’s talking ?
“You, stressed? But no, your superpower is being the zen professor!”
This phrase, although seeming to be taken from a comic book, is part of my landscape since my students, friends, and acquaintances of all kinds are far from imagining the stressed person that I am in contrast to the image I convey. The mask of appearance in connection with the outside world constitutes here a first common characteristic that is often found in people in burnout situations.
But, if the appearance we give is quite different from what we feel inside ourselves, I must say that it is through experience and years that I have learned to tame my stress.
After much thought on the best way to manage it, I focused on the strategies that were specific to me in order to diminish it and incorporate them into my daily life. Here, first and foremost, is a methodology aimed at reducing stress, combined with some random tips.
Shall we start with :
Accepting our negative emotions
The principle is quite simple : admitting to outselves our negative state of mind rather than pretending that everything is fine !
Even if it seems as obvious as the nose on your face, the reality is that we spend most of our time wearing a smiling mask that only temporarily hides what we really feel.
But sometimes the mask is like a bandage on an open wound that will need to express itself in one way or another and sometimes, not in the best way.
The tip:
You feel unwell, even if you don’t really know how to define it? Take a moment alone and dare to say to yourself that you don’t feel well :
“I feel bad / I’m stressed / I’m anxious / I’m angry / I’m sad / I’m frustrated…”
(it is true that I mix emotions, but this technique applies to all negative feelings you will feel; but I promise, I won’t digress too much to stay focused on the dimension of stress.)
What I invite you to keep in mind here is to start by accepting for and by yourself these negative emotions, which is a first step in the right direction before finding a reason for your current discomfort.
Identification — The Power of Lists
“Okay, I’ve admitted to myself my discomfort and I accept it in a way. But that doesn’t really solve the problem.”
Now that you have recognized some source of concern. Can you identify it?
Personnally talking, I sometimes feel like I have a tornado of information going through my mind. A bit like if all this mishmash of data was relatively balanced in general, but that at times, this balance is completely upset.
Laundry of the day? Shopping to do? Report to send? Classes to attend? Bills to pay? Messages to reply to?
I am convinced that this non-exhaustive list of items resonates with your reality since it is part of a series of elements that are part of our daily life or almost. Before rushing around like a headless chicken, I suggest you take a moment, sit down and take stock of all this information that goes through you.
The tip:
Get something to write with, whether it’s a piece of paper, a notepad sheet, a document on your computer, or any app of your choice, and start by writing down all these things to do that concern you, without following any particular order.
The hardest part will be to write the first item on the list, don’t think too much about the why and how, the rest will follow without too much effort.
But by the way, why is this an item that will help reduce our stress?
First of all, because externalizing your sources of worry will allow you to see them in a physical and real way rather than moving from one stream of thought to another. Then, once your sources are in front of you, you can proceed to an action plan aimed at approaching and carrying out different tasks to be done or preparing for such or such event or circumstance.
Levels of Importance and Taking Action
Your sources of concern are now in front of you, there’s nothing left to do as they say! But before rushing headlong into the first item on your list, take a moment again to prioritize your items and give them degrees of importance.
The tip:
Go through all your items in view and organize them according to their degree of importance and according to your own method such as adding numbers or other symbols of your choice. You could also decide to rewrite your list in order of importance.
Some objectives also need to be divided into subcategories. Let’s illustrate this with an example:
Imagine that an item on your list is as follows: “House chores.”
Upon further reflection, here’s how your objective could be delimited:
House Chores:
· Do the groceries
· Tidy up the attic
· Change the bed sheets
So, for example, doing your weekly groceries if your fridge is empty will certainly be more important than tidying up your attic which is starting to overflow. But however, making your bed if you start the day can be easily achievable and will help you to outline your list, but also, to give you the satisfaction of accomplishing an item that was in your mind.
A last piece of advice for the road?
Balance your lists with objectives that are directly and easily achievable and alternate them according to their degree of importance. There are different techniques for balancing your to-do list, especially if you can’t decide on the degrees of importance, but also, on the need for short, medium, or long-term realization.
To conclude
Even though the concept of stress is well-known and unfortunately popular these days, its management is unique to each individual.
Recognizing a stressful situation is not inhumane, and identification as well as taking action are ways for you to gain a form of control over it, even though there is still much to be said about the sources and methods of balancing situations that place you in an anxious state.
Did you find this article helpful? Also, do you also use the power of lists to reduce anxiety? Feel free to share your thoughts and techniques in the comments!
See you soon,